Painting a Round face

Here I am again wasting my time in front of my laptop screen, trying to call out to no one. Yet, here I find comfort. I try to write the things which I cannot say in reality. I have found this new world of technology as a releasing ground. It is the perfect place for me to express things that are left unsaid.

We all know that humans are made relative. We are made and designed to communicate. Indeed, through this sharing of thoughts, feelings and knowledge we made things fair for all. We learn to compromise and defend for ourselves.

But for me, this goes in a downward spiral-staircase. I cannot communicate effectively which sorts me into the "factory defect" category. I do feel at times when I cannot stand my grounds and speak up for myself that I am unworthy to be called a human being. This is when life for me is hard and unfair.

Having a place like this, where I can speak and share without hesitations or fears, I feel like a dignified being. As part of sharing, I have learn to express myself at the tip of my brush.

(Photos used here are some recent arts on my thoughts and feelings on Bipolar Disorder.)

"My life is framed on two extremes, mania and depression."

Happiness is like a burst of color. While depression is nothing but a sunken corpse.

Good to be Back

On one of my trips, I found this colorful graffiti

Hello GSoles!
It's good to be back and speaking of being back I would like to apologize for not posting these past few weeks. I have been in a terrible, most crucial situation in my life. For the past posts that I have been ranting about self-respect and the freedom to express, my friends and I ended up breaking apart.

It was like too much closure and familiarity that we forgot to be sensitive to each other. Not only that, in addition to the broken relationship, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with a certain disorder. I had least expected it. My friends and I back in high school used to laugh and joke about bipolar disorder. But being a candidate myself was not funny at all. It was shocking and heavy in my heart. As I accept this new chapter I had to leave school.

It was more of a dilemma to me leaving my classmates at the final term. If I would stay longer, the stress I receive from my course would break me down. My mind could not afford to stay much longer. I was irritable, habitually depressed, hallucinant and most especially dying on my own set of mind. I was suffocated with the environment I was in.

My doctor, my family, and I decided that I take my time to refresh my thoughts. These past few weeks that I forgot to post I have been on constant road trips without stress. It was all fun fun fun! It really did help me let go, and unwind my coiled up thoughts.

More fun road trip posts coming! smile GSoles!