Mothers weep

My heart couldn't catch up with the pace of my feet. It had its own mind. Through the mud and puddles I walked as fast as I could. I had to see them. The cold night and the drizzle made me shiver. It was harder for me to breathe but nothing can stop me. Love was on my heart. It was too much I couldn't contain it anymore. It wanted to burst out of my chest and search for a hollow, broken, and hopeless heart. Love wanted to find a new shelter. It has done its part on me and now it is time for it to move some place else who needs more tending.

As I close my eyes now, I could still remember every detail of that night. I could still feel the raindrops softly touching my face. I could see a small figure of a boy from afar. A silhouette of someone familiar to me. I began to smile and got more excited. The cold wind blowing made my cheeks freeze.

I wanted to surprise that boy. I pulled my studded bonnet nearer to my eyes hiding the happiness it showed. I was about to approach him when I saw older kids  walking towards his direction. I held my horses and decided to observe first.

From the looks of those older ones,  I had a feeling that they were up to no good at all. They surrounded poor Cedric, the boy, and started to push him on his shoulders. They were asking for something. I was not sure of what I saw because it was dim lit from where they were standing. Poor scared Cedric gave them what I thought would have been his gathered "limos". One of the older boys, who looked like the "hari-harian" stepped up and took the coins in his palm.

Not even satisfied of what they just did, they tried to pull Cedric's already worn out clothes. But as a small boy he was able to manage his way out of the center and ran as if it was the last time he could ever do it. It was a run for his life. The "siga" boys picked up small pebbles from the sidewalk and began on targeting Cedric.

I stand frozen on the other side of the road. I couldn't do anything to help that poor boy. All I could do was watch. Big tears were pouring from the corners of my eyes. If my heart had its own set of feet, it could have left my body there, slit my chest open and ran across the street to help Cedric. But I was that coward girl. I couldn't even move my feet from were I was standed.

Children like him shouldn't be out in the streets at these wee hours. They need guidance so that they may grow right and be good people when they grow up and replace us. Instead, violence was their neighbor. Fighting was their strength. The darkness was their comfort.

Thirty minutes later I was still on the same spot. I fell down on my knees and did nothing but cried. The older boys were out of site and so was Cedric. The silence was deafening. Only the street cars racing kept me assured that I was still holding on reality.

Th bullies came back. But each of them were smiling and seemed to be staring from a pointless distance. One of them was puffing on ciggy heavily. He exhaled a thick cloud of smoke and smiled as he looked up. The other one who looked around 12-13 years old was balancing an umbrella on his palm. His smile was priceless. But I knew there was something wrong. All their smiles looked too fake.

A few moments later, I saw Cedric walking towards their direction as if he wasn't bullied earlier. I said to myself that poor Cedric is stupid. Why would he go back after what those boys did to him? wasn't that enough? how foolish of him.

Despite my expectations, they didn't harm him. They were too occupied of smiling blankly and playing imaginary fire on their palms. Cedric left later. I followed him and whistled from behind. He looked at my direction and tried to recognize me from afar. He made a frown on his face trying to remember me. I removed my bonnet and showed a smile.

His face started to brighten progressively. He smiled and I saw his teeth. He ran to me as I waved at him. He approached me happily as I felt the same way. I controlled my tears from falling. I didn't want to bother him now that he is so happy. He called me "ate sa Starr" and I smiled and nodded.

He was surprised to see me and told me that he was not expecting for me to come. Well, most of those people who promised them didn't. I reminded him that a promise is a promise and I made one with them. At a young age, they do not have trust anymore. They lived with worthless words and broken promises. TRUST was rare for them. I felt sorry that they had to be denied from this value.

He called his friends from nowhere. They were the same familiar faces whom I had talked to last week. I explained to them that I couldn't bring a chocolate cake. I was worried of the slicing and the distribution. I took out those white cellophane from my wonder bag and gave each one of them. I told them they were chocolate biscuits and bars.

They were all too happy that I wanted to hug them all and keep that moment playing forever. They laughed at each other as they took their bite. Without even forgetting to say grace, they thanked me and told me I was so good to them. They asked for my real name and I just said "Bern".

I said my good nights to all of them and wave goodbye. Cedric and his friend named Norman accompanied me. I was still not sleepy that night. Their smiles served as my sugar rush. My eyes are still wide open and my body still wanted to jog 7miles or more. My insomnia was getting worst also ( I'm aware of that). They asked me where I live but I didn't tell them the exact location.

Those kids, I love them already as if they were my real brothers and sisters in blood. But I know in our hearts we have the same thirst, the same need, and the same God. Those kids can't even sleep. I hope that they won't become insomniac in the future. It will be a major problem to them. I do know how it feels and it sucks.

We walked the streets with no sense of direction. We didn't care because we talked and laughed and just had a good time. I could still hear their laughter in my ears. It's the most beautiful sound rarely produced in the world. Innocent, natural, and happy.

:)

hugs and kisses with so much ❤,Tadz