At the end of the day

Dear GSoles! I would like to say sorry first if this entry is not that inspiring or motivational. If you do not want to know or read more you can stop at this point.

So if you did then you might still be reading from this point and hopefully onwards. I am so exhausted today. It was still early in the morning that my performance was a total pain in the neck. My first subject in the morning was moved one hour earlier. I had to do a double effort in getting out of my bed.

I had to climb the stairs from ground floor up to the fifth floor. I can say that the elevator at school is useless. Sometimes it smelled like wet leather. There are times that it turns into a mini horror cell. The lights work seasonal. I've tried riding in pitch black. It was like "damn! I should have taken the stairs".

And so today, we had our usual verbal type of quiz. It's been like this for the past two meetings. Questionnaires were not given anymore. It was like a single droplet falling into the surface. Everyone was affected for that single act of someone or some of them. Either they were a group of opportunistic zombies or it was a single brainless hungry zombie, I am furious.

Everyone was paying for the bad deed. SH*T! I felt that the questions per item were not repeated and felt fast forward. It took about eight seconds per question before she asks the next item. If you left it blank or still trying to remember that familiar answer at the tip of your tongue, I would suggest to abandon that and move on. It will just complicate and frustrate your thoughts and inner feelings.

After passing my half-answered paper I had to take a deep breath and close my eyes for awhile. She extended the time until eleven o'clock. Of course I got annoyed. I don't get it when the researchers' studies proved that humans have an average of twenty minutes retention(attention span) before their brains wonder off and remember nothing. Why does my subjects go beyond this limit? I'm sure I can behave for the first twenty minutes. Beyond that,  I wouldn't recall any of the topics.

Later in the afternoon, I had to do a favor for a friend. I accepted it because my next class would be four hours away. I had to make efforts changing into my beauty consultant attire and put colors on my pale face. We arrived at the center minutes late. I had to make all the preparations and had to conduct the facial myself to one client.

My friend kept on telling me to purchase the catalogues while I was in the middle of my facial. This friend kept on interrupting me, asking questions while I was still attending to her client's queries. She ordered me to talk to our head director. I still had to clean up and pack the things being used. The time was two minutes away from hitting four o'clock.

I told her she could ask our director herself while I hurry packing up so that we could leave. She forced me to do it myself. I got fed up later and had to take slower and longer breathings. I had to smile and laugh it all out. She kept on ranting about her next class and about getting late.

In my most possible polite way, I reminded her that I already missed my class even if it wasn't my business at all to be there. I wouldn't earn from her client. I just did that out of my pure helping heart. It was a go-give spirit.

We rode on the taxi to catch up with her next class. I had to pay for the expenses. Gawd! I don't like to count all my efforts because I would sound rude. but I was pissed off. I was thirsty, tired and burnt out. I still have to deliver a product at the hospital. I was supposed to meet my buyer earlier. But had to postpone it due to the incessant request of my friend.

I still had to meet her again at six-thirty. I had to wait another two hours before her class ends. I also lost my one thousand peso bill. Good thing that my girlfriend joined me at the mall. She refilled my thoughts, my heart, and my energy. I decided to go home with her without bothering of waiting for my friend. She assured me that tomorrow would be another day. The sun would shine brightly for us and this heavy rain would come to an end.

She hugged me and planted a kiss on my forehead.

i love you...

we've got each other. we're not harming anyone.
say all you want, judge at us. but we're just being true.

Denise❤Tadz

Mothers weep

My heart couldn't catch up with the pace of my feet. It had its own mind. Through the mud and puddles I walked as fast as I could. I had to see them. The cold night and the drizzle made me shiver. It was harder for me to breathe but nothing can stop me. Love was on my heart. It was too much I couldn't contain it anymore. It wanted to burst out of my chest and search for a hollow, broken, and hopeless heart. Love wanted to find a new shelter. It has done its part on me and now it is time for it to move some place else who needs more tending.

As I close my eyes now, I could still remember every detail of that night. I could still feel the raindrops softly touching my face. I could see a small figure of a boy from afar. A silhouette of someone familiar to me. I began to smile and got more excited. The cold wind blowing made my cheeks freeze.

I wanted to surprise that boy. I pulled my studded bonnet nearer to my eyes hiding the happiness it showed. I was about to approach him when I saw older kids  walking towards his direction. I held my horses and decided to observe first.

From the looks of those older ones,  I had a feeling that they were up to no good at all. They surrounded poor Cedric, the boy, and started to push him on his shoulders. They were asking for something. I was not sure of what I saw because it was dim lit from where they were standing. Poor scared Cedric gave them what I thought would have been his gathered "limos". One of the older boys, who looked like the "hari-harian" stepped up and took the coins in his palm.

Not even satisfied of what they just did, they tried to pull Cedric's already worn out clothes. But as a small boy he was able to manage his way out of the center and ran as if it was the last time he could ever do it. It was a run for his life. The "siga" boys picked up small pebbles from the sidewalk and began on targeting Cedric.

I stand frozen on the other side of the road. I couldn't do anything to help that poor boy. All I could do was watch. Big tears were pouring from the corners of my eyes. If my heart had its own set of feet, it could have left my body there, slit my chest open and ran across the street to help Cedric. But I was that coward girl. I couldn't even move my feet from were I was standed.

Children like him shouldn't be out in the streets at these wee hours. They need guidance so that they may grow right and be good people when they grow up and replace us. Instead, violence was their neighbor. Fighting was their strength. The darkness was their comfort.

Thirty minutes later I was still on the same spot. I fell down on my knees and did nothing but cried. The older boys were out of site and so was Cedric. The silence was deafening. Only the street cars racing kept me assured that I was still holding on reality.

Th bullies came back. But each of them were smiling and seemed to be staring from a pointless distance. One of them was puffing on ciggy heavily. He exhaled a thick cloud of smoke and smiled as he looked up. The other one who looked around 12-13 years old was balancing an umbrella on his palm. His smile was priceless. But I knew there was something wrong. All their smiles looked too fake.

A few moments later, I saw Cedric walking towards their direction as if he wasn't bullied earlier. I said to myself that poor Cedric is stupid. Why would he go back after what those boys did to him? wasn't that enough? how foolish of him.

Despite my expectations, they didn't harm him. They were too occupied of smiling blankly and playing imaginary fire on their palms. Cedric left later. I followed him and whistled from behind. He looked at my direction and tried to recognize me from afar. He made a frown on his face trying to remember me. I removed my bonnet and showed a smile.

His face started to brighten progressively. He smiled and I saw his teeth. He ran to me as I waved at him. He approached me happily as I felt the same way. I controlled my tears from falling. I didn't want to bother him now that he is so happy. He called me "ate sa Starr" and I smiled and nodded.

He was surprised to see me and told me that he was not expecting for me to come. Well, most of those people who promised them didn't. I reminded him that a promise is a promise and I made one with them. At a young age, they do not have trust anymore. They lived with worthless words and broken promises. TRUST was rare for them. I felt sorry that they had to be denied from this value.

He called his friends from nowhere. They were the same familiar faces whom I had talked to last week. I explained to them that I couldn't bring a chocolate cake. I was worried of the slicing and the distribution. I took out those white cellophane from my wonder bag and gave each one of them. I told them they were chocolate biscuits and bars.

They were all too happy that I wanted to hug them all and keep that moment playing forever. They laughed at each other as they took their bite. Without even forgetting to say grace, they thanked me and told me I was so good to them. They asked for my real name and I just said "Bern".

I said my good nights to all of them and wave goodbye. Cedric and his friend named Norman accompanied me. I was still not sleepy that night. Their smiles served as my sugar rush. My eyes are still wide open and my body still wanted to jog 7miles or more. My insomnia was getting worst also ( I'm aware of that). They asked me where I live but I didn't tell them the exact location.

Those kids, I love them already as if they were my real brothers and sisters in blood. But I know in our hearts we have the same thirst, the same need, and the same God. Those kids can't even sleep. I hope that they won't become insomniac in the future. It will be a major problem to them. I do know how it feels and it sucks.

We walked the streets with no sense of direction. We didn't care because we talked and laughed and just had a good time. I could still hear their laughter in my ears. It's the most beautiful sound rarely produced in the world. Innocent, natural, and happy.

:)

hugs and kisses with so much ❤,Tadz

Say GRACE

 Hello GSoles! Today the sun seemed shy. I woke up late around 10am. It was gloomy outside and a feathery rain ruled the sky.
 

Everyone I met along the street to my school were all moving at a slow pace. They looked tired, lazy, and sleepy. Nothing was listed on my mini organizer either. No bookings, no facials, no make-up sessions, and no gig with friends. I thought to myself that this was one of the days which I just felt nothing meaningful.

At 3pm my phone vibrated incessantly for an unknown reason.  I shove my hands on my big pocket and reached for my phone. It said "Cedric & frnds.CAKE". My eyes gradually widened as if they were ready to pop out any moment. I was nodding and wanted to say what I just forgot.

The feeling you get when you remember something really important to do later and you totally forgot to plan. Yes, I was feeling it. Last week on a very late Friday night, I made a promise to a street boy. He was not just a street boy. His name was Cedric and he was my God-given savior along with his other angel friends.

It was last year, not long ago that I was on my old useless past. I was puffing on a cheap stick of black ciggy that time. My world was upside down and I puffed too much making me feel dizzy and about to loose my consciousness. Coming from no where and out of their inborn human feelings, these children helped me without even robbing things out of my purse.

 

I didn't see them after. I didn't even had the chance to ask their names and thank them. Until last Friday night at Starr, our paths crossed again as I lit another stick. They smiled at me and greeted me as if we've been long friends. I ended up chatting with them. We talked about education, career, and (as children) they asked for my love life. I giggled because I didn't expect it from such young children.

All I could say that time was that I was not ready for those things. I couldn't afford love life at the moment. I was focusing on my business. But at the back of my mind, deep in my heart, I asked myself the same questions.

They asked for "limos" but as usual I do not give money to street children. I don't want them ending up gambling or buying addictive stuffs with my money (rugby-boys do that). Since I haven't yet thanked them for helping me out last year. I wanted to give them something special. I asked them what food they like because I do not give money. They were all up for chocolate cake.

Back on today...

I thought of buying a large cake. But I thought it would be hard to distribute slices without utensils. I ended up buying chocolate biscuits and mini bars of Hershey & Snickers instead. I packed them in white plastic cellophane and close them in a knot.

I will be giving these packs of sweets tonight. Twenty innocent, young, and kind angels will be so happy to see me tonight. GSoles out there! If you think you don't deserve to live and you made really bad decisions in the past, God will always send someone to remind you that you are still his innocent child. He forgives and gives second chances. Let us not forget to thank God in His many forms. Let us not forget to say GRACE.

1st step for GOOD SOLES sharing GRACE
PHOTOS:

Bag of sweets.

"The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity. "

— Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

Packed individually.

"Love comes in many forms. I feel so in love having met these angels.  Love doesn't require to come from the opposite sex nor give fleshy pleasures. Love is having Grace and sharing that Grace to everyone."

❤Tadz

Preface

Hooray!

Welcome dear strangers to TheGoodSole's official blog.

It has been your decisions and choices in the past that brought you here. It might have been an accident, a stroke of serendipity. For the millions of blogs posted and followed by people on the web, a distinct nature would surely hook more followers. Ending up here for the first time might post questions in your minds of what is this all about.

TheGoodSole's intention is to put into writing and share the real story of a struggling make-up artist from day to day experiences. It is through communication that we continue to see ourselves in the lives of others. We continue to love and to respect those people.

Today is the official start of this blog. I welcome you all and hope for you to keep in touch until my next post.

 

❤Tadz